It's only the beginning of the year yet I want Halloween already!!!

Yep that's a countdown till Halloween of this year. I'll admit it I'm obsessed with the holiday. To me it is the most epic holiday out there. I love Halloween it was a safe holiday a holiday were my love for the dark was okay. I was known to be pretty brave since I would watch the scariest ghost videos on YouTube. Some of my classmates could barely handle it.
I was a little freaky as in that I loved Edgar Allen Poe and his works. And that I also enjoyed Breaking Benjamin and Three Days Grace a little bit more then the norm. But I was me. When I first started dating I decided to cancel out everything that I was and to make myself more pleasing to a guy. Well, all though that might have worked I would end up unhappy.
One guy said that Valentines day was the best holiday, he asked if I agreed. I just smiled and said yes. But to be honest I really dislike Valentines day. It might be because I've not had a boyfriend for me to experience that but whatever I just don't like that holiday as much right now.
When a lot of the guys discovered my dark love and how much of a crazed Anime fan I was they would stop. Ha, don't blame them to be honest. But I also look at the way my life is and I want a guy who is going to be tougher then me. After my father died I felt that I need to protect the house and myself.
The bullying I experienced dealt with being chased home and beaten up. I finally got sick of that bullying and turned around gave them a good punch. Normally parents and teachers say just ignore them they'll stop from boredom. Yeah, didn't work for me it lasted for 8 years. My Senior year I just finally told them to back the heck off.
Now I'm kind of tall, I have some disadvantages because of that. Now here I go into rant mode. So why is it that so many guys won't think to date a girl who is a little bit tougher then. A girl who can change a tire in record time, know where a problem for the car is and can play a sport with them and well sometimes beat them?
I remember in my church's Young Men/Women class we played broom hockey. Now we got pretty intense so much so that I got smacked dead on in the face I had a small cut, a bruise, and a giant lump as a prize. The worst part there was suppose to be a dance that night. I guess you can bet no guys asked me to dance.
Now, I've ended some relationships on my own. I didn't feel safe or I just wasn't comfortable at the time to be dating. Sometimes I look at it and I'm like, darn why did I do that? I know I'm young 22 is so young. But when I see 18 or 17 year olds getting married left and right I do wonder what is wrong with me?
But well, anyways I am through with my dating rant. :P

So this story that I'm posting is actually a much more recent story and it is interesting because when I was writing it was based off my face. Now, when I was in high school I had really bad acne. It left my face scarred now I know my face isn't beautiful and smooth but it is me and it portrays who I am which is a rough girl. :) The title hasn't been decided but here it is. Enjoy.

The bell over the door rang as four girls entered. The shopkeeper looked at them as he set a statue of an abnormal fish next to other abnormal creatures.
“Hello, ladies how may I help you,” he asked smiling at them.
“Hi, um, we’re just going to look around if that’s okay,” said a girl smiling up at him, pretending to hide her face of disgust. He noted her fake smile to him, probably because he was Asian.
“Sure, let me know when you want to buy something,” he said before heading to the back.
“That was rude Martha,” said one of her friends nudging her.
“Look, daddy told me never to trust other races so there,” said Martha sticking her nose in the air, “Besides, Jean, he was old and he had such a weird pointed beard, and was it just me or are his eyes glazed over with white?”
“Oh, both of you shut up, and Martha learn to not rely on looks only,” said another girl.
“Oh, Garnia I forgot, you have acne problems, and it always disgusts me,” said Martha glaring at Garnia.
“What do you know and Jean why did you bring her?” Asked the last of the group.
“You guys know she’s my cousin I couldn’t leave her,” said Jean.
“Oh, poor little Agatha,” said Martha before she wandered past the glaring girls.
“Is my face that bad?” Garnia asked as she touched her scarred face.
“No, you look great just ignore her,” said Agatha, rubbing her friends back comfortingly.
“Thanks.”
Garnia wandered over to where the man had set down an odd statue she stared in shock at the hideous beasts. One looked of a fish but also of a man? His head was like a fish in front but in back he had hair, his eyes were human shaped as well. He had gills on his neck, and his hands stretched out into webs, he had no legs they were a fin instead. She looked to the one next to him. This one looked worse, he looked like a gorilla with a lolling tongue like that of a dog. He also looked as if he was diseased with certain parts of his body looking cracked beyond repair and some jutting out like rocks. The last one was not as bad as the others, he had a beak he had no hands but wings, his feet were normal except for the long toes and nails. And he had a tail of that of a bird.
“Do you like?”
Garnia started from the shopkeeper. He smiled at her softly taking the middle one down and holding it.
“They are very interesting; are you selling them?” Garnia asked, feeling now obligated to buy them.
“Why, yes,” said the shopkeeper smiling, “My name is Tetsuya. Ah, these are the forms that the elements took.”
“But there are only three. What about fire?”
“Heh, fire is a stubborn one he chose to just live within the earth rather then become this. You see these three, water, earth, and air were created when the world was. Very strong and having the power to recreate this world they are the common elements. But alas poor earth is neglected,” Tetsuya set earth back in the middle.
“Why?” Garnia asked looking at the poor beast.
“Because, we do not see a purpose for him as much as we do for air and water,” said Tetsuya walking behind the counter, “I think that is why he became that ugly beast.”
“I’ll buy him,” said Garnia taking out her wallet, “And the other two.”
“My dear, you don’t have to have pity for them,” said Tetsuya looking at her, Garnia looked at him pleading, “Very well, if you buy them you must promise to take them home and look at them see if you can find their story if the pity leaves then you will see a change in the statues, alright?”
“Deal,” she said shaking his hand.
The shopkeeper wrapped them and then handed them to her in a box. She thanked him before leaving the shop.
“What took you?” Martha huffed glaring at Garnia.
“Oh, chill geez,” said Jean before heading over to their cars.
“I’m gonna head home early guys,” said Garnia as she opened the drivers side.
“Oh, okay well, then Agatha you still want to come over?” Jean asked even though her face said I already know.
“Nah, I’m gonna check in early. Besides, I have homework,” said Agatha getting into her car and starting it.
“See ya,” said Garnia. She started the car and shifted into gear. She hit a red light and bent over turning on the radio. She headed onto the freeway heading north. Ten exits later she was home. She turned the lights on to hear her cat complain.
“Hello, Cal,” Garnia said rubbing behind the cats ear. He purred in happiness. She walked into her room where she opened the box. She carefully unwrapped them, she set them how they were at the shop, on her bed side stand. Water, Earth, and Air, looked at her with their jeweled eyes.
“So water has black hair and hmm, I don’t know what gem for your eyes but brown eyes,” said Garnia looking at them, “Earth looks like he has no hair and his eyes are amber. Air has long dirty blond hair and his eyes are green, oh he has emerald eyes. Well, you three I need to figure out your stories, that will be hard to do. Although I do find you to be very intriguing, who knows if you were real…”
Garnia sighed before going into her bathroom were she stared at herself in the mirror. Her face was scarred from the numerous acne she had in her youth. She placed a hand gingerly to her cheek, before she heard a crash. She rushed into her room, staring at three large figures like that of her statues. But they were moving and talking.
“I told you she’d hear us,” said Earth staring at her. Garnia’s eyes rolled back and she fell to the floor out.
“Earth maybe if you didn’t talk it would have been fine,” complained Air fanning Garnia.
“Oh, geez let’s stop we are brothers,” said Water, “Here, let me splash her.”
Water pulled himself to her. He raised a webbed hand before brushing it past her face. Water splashed against her face. She coughed turning her face and rubbing her eyes before she sat up.
“Better?” Water asked looking at her, before she let out an earsplitting scream.
Water clapped a webbed hand over her mouth before she began to claw and rip at him.
“HEY! HELP!” He shouted at his brothers.
“Give her to Earth I have feathers she’ll rip them,” complained Air stroking his wings.
“Here,” said Earth holding out his arms.
Water placed her in his arms, he removed his hand to have her chomp on it, “OUCH! WHAT THE HECK YOU LITTLE INGRATE!”
“HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME-” Garnia was about to say but was cut off by one of Earths massive hands.
“I hope nobody comes,” said Air, looking at his brothers in concern.
“If someone does I’ll turn back to human,” said Water leaning against a wall stroking a cut on his fin.
“Maybe we should have done that first?” Air asked sitting down as a few feathers fluttered to the floor.
“Uh, guys she fainted again,” said Earth holding her up.
“Well, we can now, let’s quickly become human and then we’ll see if we can show her our true form later,” said Water sitting up.
“No, we promised to see if there would be one who would love us for us,” said Earth glaring at his brothers, “And not for how we look or our powers.”
“Earth, we always say for how we look but what if someone out there thinks this is hot and when you’re human thinks your ugly then what?” Asked Air.
Earth started but leaned back looking annoyed.
“Then it’s decided Earth, you are our older brother but majority rules,” said Water looking at him.
“Fine just hurry up,” said Earth as he wrapped his arms around himself and his skin shrunk sinking into a comfortable tan color. Water curled into himself as his fin split into two forming into long legs. Air furled his wings around him self as the feathers sunk into his skin. After a while there were three handsome men sitting where the beasts were.
“Earth, you look just as good as you did five thousand years ago,” said Water admiring his brothers muscles and tanned skin, and his shoulder length hair.
“Hey, nothing to your younger brother?” Air asked.
“Of course, Air, you are just as prideful as ever,” said Water smirking at the long blond hair and pale skin of Air.
“Ha ha, well at least I’m not as conceited as you Water,” countered Air, staring at his brothers black skin and black hair.
“Now what of the girl?” Asked Earth as he picked Garnia up as if she was nothing.
“Hmm, leave her, she’s been through enough,” said Air heading for the door.
“No!” shouted Earth and Water together.
“Well, then what, do you want us to stay and get caught, huh?”
“No,” said Earth looking at Air, “But maybe we can tell her a little lie.”
“Like?” Water asked looking at his brother.
“Like, we found her passed out in a park and brought her home,” said Earth.
“That will work,” said Water.
“What, do you guys like her?” Air asked looking at his brothers in horror, “That can’t be possible look at her she is ugly!”
Earth turned to Air before he slapped his brother.
“Do not judge by looks,” growled Earth as a tremor shook the ground underfoot.
“You fool,” snarled Water as thunder clapped over head and rain poured.
“Geez, sorry, look calm down, other wise you might cause massive damage,” said Air looking out the window at the large amount of rain, “You remember how angry Father got when we missed used our powers.”
“Oh, trust me, Air, I don’t care right now,” snarled Water. Rain shredded harder through the sky as Thunder and lighting attacked the ground. Earth settled his large hand upon Waters shoulder, shaking his head softly.
“Whatever,” said Water shaking his brother off. He bent over Garnias body looking at her face. He felt a sting as he realized how many tears she must have cried. The scars were vivid. Yet he hardly cared.

Why I dream.

You know many times I get asked why I dream so much in one day? Well my answer is very simple.
When I was young I went through a car crash and had to suffer the rest of my life through bullying and failings of school. I was very lucky to have passed. But during those difficult times was when I met three amazing characters.
Stark from my published book Parallel the Other Planet.
Dracula the good old evil vampire.
And Larry a werewolf.
Pathetic might be what many of you are thinking, or man is this girl crazy. I don't care what you think but people need to imagine and believe in things others do not see. As an author those three were very real to me. I had met them got to know their individual stories. I still meet so many characters day after day and I love getting to know them and hear their stories. I love being able to dream.
We all dream and imagine because without that then we would fall to pieces and our lives would become intolerable to live. Belief stabalizes life and also is what helps in building up countries and cities. Without an imagination that there would be no cars, planes, computers, phones, lights, nothing, we would be stuck like the 18th century of Europe and the rest of the world.
Here we go history. But when America was built the world changed it began to spin in a different way people wanted more of the freedom that America held. They gained it maybe not as much as America but they still got a lot of the freedom we had. Because of that many of them made these inventions. This happened because those who settled America first dreamed of being free from the kings control. The revolutionary war was won because the people believed that they would win.
Now, those of you who hate America get over it. We haven't done much to you as a people the government maybe. But we the people are going to have to start remembering that our ancestors dreams were what made this country.
Dream, follow it. Love it. It is a part of you and you need it to come true. :)
Have a very Merry Christmas!!

The Screaming Pain

So have you ever heard of someone slipping back into the person they once were? No, well it's happening to me. I have been getting pushed from all sides and I'm getting sick of it. When I was in high school I fought back I made people regret messing with me. I sound really cruel right? If you think that is the case then fine but I wasn't. I was bullied through out most of my school life, I was the only one though who stood up to the bullies and made them back off. I wasn't a this super sweet girl, innocent yes yes I was innocent. But when I went to college I began to have a bit more to enjoy with my life and there wasn't so much worry any more. But now it's returning because of what others are saying. People, call me cruel they call me mean and they are always pointing out what is wrong with me. I know what's wrong with me why do I need a bunch of imperfect people telling me too? I just dislike it and the stupid thing it's over something that EVERY SINGLE STICKING PERSON DOES. Hmm, what's that? FORGET!!!! Hello, isn't that a common trait in EVERYONE everyone forgets things and then when someone brings it up they remember. But apparently I'm suppose to be this perfect little mind read who never ever forgets a single things and gets through it easily. If I have to then I'm going to back to my past self the one who stared people down and told them to shut up and leave me alone else I would bite, and not in the nice vampire way.
Anyways I'm done. Enjoy the rest of your day. :]

Nevada SPCA Animal Rescue: Few seem to notice that I am a superstar.

Nevada SPCA Animal Rescue: Few seem to notice that I am a superstar.: "Bigger dogs, like Desert Rose, eagerly await daily visitors, often with wagging tails and smiles. But the truth is that most people walk ri..."

You're going to have to click the link to view the rest. I do alot of volunteer work. Just waiting for my chance to finish my second book which, surprise, surprise is based all around wolves. I love dogs and it has grown harder to work at the shelters when I really want to take home a beautiful dog such as this beauty. I really want her Desert Rose is beautiful and a total sweetheart. I met her once and instantly fell in love with her. I have a soft spot for my big dogs. All though I like small dogs as well having a companion who I can easily pet is a lot nicer then one I have to pick up. Plus I want a dog who can tough it up in the Sierra's. I love to volunteer I enjoy being able to work around people who care about others and the animals. I just enjoy knowing that there are still people out there who have big hearts. It's interesting because all the shelters have a tiny bit of competition going on but for the most part are desiring for a dog to get a good home. I really enjoy it. And I can tell you that dogs are absolutely wonderful pets. Cats are too but I'm really missing having a good old puppy dog with me right now. :')


“Oh, you’ll love it this year we have more people who moved in just recently,” said Susan, Ana’s sister.
“Whatever,” said Ana. Her parents had forced her into going when she was going to the Goth Fest in Nevada, but they said that she deserved quality time with her sister. Her sister was forty and she, Ana, was only twenty.
“I must warn you though,” said her sister her tone serious now, “We have some new neighbors who have a corn maze. Now their not too welcoming yet, so I suggest that you don’t go anywhere near them. The sheriff had many strange reports on them.”
Ana just rolled her eyes and continued to stare out the window. What would she be doing in a corn maze? Her niece was already getting married and she wished that she had a man of her own, not wanting to come for that reason. She looked out as they passed an evil looking scarecrow. Maybe it won’t be so boring after all, thought Ana.
The car rolled into the drive way and Ana jumped out. She saw huge stalks of corn behind their fence and just smiled. They walked up to the house and entered. Ana was greeted by her niece and three nephews. She smiled at the youngest one. Stephen he was only twelve and was easy to scare. The second youngest was Jeff he had braces and thick glasses he was the smart one. Then the oldest boy was Jared, his bushy dirty blond hair was hidden under a straw hat. In addition, Emily her brown hair and brown eyes were very pronounced.
“Ana, it’s good to see you,” said Emily wrapping her arms around Ana.
“Em,” came a voice form the kitchen. A strange guy with black hair and dark skin walked in and kissed Emily. Ana took him to be George. He looked to be American-Indian.
“Okay, don’t forget there are little ones,” said Ana pointing to her nephews.
George and Emily pulled away and blushed. Not very brave I see, thought Ana.
“Well, Emily you and George are in charge while me and Jack go to the town meeting. The twelfth death this year it is getting serious,” said Susan as she closed the door behind her.
Ana pondered what would make so many deaths but decided not to ask. She turned around and looked at Emily and George with real intent.
“Hey,” she said loud enough for them all to turn and look at her, “Why don’t we go to that corn maze behind the house. I heard its suppose to have a party in the middle.”
“There ain’t no party there,” said George, looking worried, “besides I would have heard.”
“Well, Susan said there was and told me that if I told you guys first she and Jack could get a little alone time,” Ana had a sweet innocent look on her face.
“Oh, George lets go it will be fun,” said Emily faltering first. Bingo, thought Ana, Emily would have fallen first.
George agreed and they headed out side the full moon made things even better. Ana told stories about werewolves and how they like the country best because of its open land. She told them that she was safe and they were doomed to being turned into werewolves. Jeff protested but still he looked as if he would have a fit. Stephen was shaking all over and Jared kept on checking behind them to make sure no one was following. Even George had a slight look of horror written on his face. Emily was pretending to be scared but she had a slight smile on her face.
They entered the corn maze and fell into a dense forest of stalks and leaves. Ana just smiled as Stephen began to cry and Jeff was shaking and his neck hair standing on end. Jared was looking around in horror. And George was holding tight to Emily’s hand. They started into the forest. Ana soon lost sight of them and began to wander. She heard footsteps but they were more like a large dog walking. She froze and looked around a howl went out and she felt her feet stay firm to the ground.
“Ha, Ha, you guys nice try,” shouted Ana.
“We didn’t do anything,” they shouted back sounding sincerely confused.
Ana looked behind her as she heard a growl. A huge wolf stood on his two hind legs was staring down at her in excitement. Ana let out a blood curdling scream she heard the others scream for help and heard crashing of stalks. Ana couldn’t move she was frozen she felt her throat block out the air and she began to hyperventilate. Then swiftly the wolf bit her. She screamed as he ran off, she continued to scream and scream. Soon George had his arms wrapped around her but she wouldn’t shut up. That was no wolf she knew that it was a werewolf.
They were standing outside the cornfield her nephews shaking all over as George tended to the bite. Ana knew that it wouldn’t matter she was stuck and doomed to become a werewolf. Her body throbbed to change but she fought. Every now and then she turned and threw up. Her throat was sore and her stomach was lurching. Her whole body was screaming for her to change.
“How did you get bit,” asked Emily as she watched her fiancé wrap her arm.
“I was…lost and saw…a huge dog and…he bit…me,” Ana panted. That’s true whether he was mythical or not, thought Ana.
Ana screamed and curled up on the ground her body lurched and she coughed up blood as she continued to scream. Her nieces fiancé told her to call 911. Ana begged for the sun to come up and ease away her pain. She couldn’t believe how well she was able to control her transformation. She felt her heart thump hard against her rib-cage and felt as if it had cracked. She held tight to keep her form as her bones grew and shrunk. She wished for it to end and then it did.
Ana opened her eyes and stared at the rising sun. She gasped in deep breaths as her heart returned to a normal pace. Her body stopped throbbing to change into a werewolf. You did it, you made yourself not change into a werewolf, Ana thought, but was it real? An ambulance rushed into the drive way and paramedics rushed over to her. Ana sighed she must not have imagined it. She was what she was. One of the paramedics brushed her face. Ana opened her eyes to a young man her age his dark hair and deep blue eyes spoke of comfort for her. He examined her and then noticed the bandage on her arm. He removed it to discover the gashes from the bite. But when he looked back at her he seemed to know everything.
“She got bit by a dog in the corn maze,” explained Emily to the other paramedic.
“She could have rabies,” said the paramedic talking to Emily.
“It isn’t rabies, John,” said the paramedic tending to Ana.
“Don’t be absurd Jake she has to have rabies the symptoms they said point to it,” said John as he rolled his sleeves.
“No, she’s fine she just was having a fit that’s all but I would like to come by every day at one and five,” said Jake as he looked down at her, “And I would like to come by on every full moon and stay all night with her to be sure all will be well.”
Emily agreed and the two men left. Ana sat on the ground staring at her shaking hands. She got up and rushed back into the cornfield terrified. She fell down on the ground as soon as she was unable to hear the others cry for her.
“Well, well look a ‘ere, the little misses from last night.” Ana turned her head up to a man with pointed ears and razor sharp teeth. He had more hair than usual and had a weird gleam in his eyes.
“How, but the only way you could was if you were the-,” Ana froze as she saw the dry blood on his chest.
“Of course I am that werewolf,” he said picking Ana up off the ground by her neck, “You are now one of us and you have no choice but to join if you don’t then I will kill your family.”
Ana pulled at his arm her head feeling clogged from the loss of oxygen to her lungs. She nodded her head hoping for him to drop her and let her go. She fell to the ground.
“That be fair warning,” he said as he ran back into the cornfield like a wolf.
Ana could not bear it she curled up on the ground and began to cry she cried and cried until she finally fell asleep.


***


Ana laid stiff in bed. Last night was a horror movie all of its own. She turned over as the fresh tears flooded her vision. She got up out of bed and opened her window determined to jump out. This was what she had to do. She jumped out landing firmly on her feet. She looked around. It was amazing a two story jump and she was unharmed? She decided to run off into the woods out back.
“I can’t believe this is it, I can never return home I’m stuck here to suffer,” said Ana as she jumped into the river.
“ANA!”
“What?” Ana looked around and saw Jake looking for her.
“ANA! COME BACK, PLEASE!”
Ana didn’t know why he couldn’t see her when she could so clearly see him. She waded out but it would have been better to just jump in and drown. Ana shook her head. She shouldn’t say such things she would escape. Ana went to turn but crashed over a rock and screamed. She stared down at her ripped pant leg with fresh blood spilling over it. Jake rushed over to her.
“Ana,” said Jake as he looked at her to never run away again, “You’re hurt.”
Ana pulled her leg away. But screamed when the wound stretched more.
“Don’t do that! Let me take care of this,” said Jake as he pulled out a small first-aid kit. He worked on her wound as Ana stared out at the forest.
“You really are afraid aren’t you,” said Jake as he tied the bandage off.
“Yes, wouldn’t you knowing your life has completely changed,” she looked at him and he looked up at her. She felt her heart beat a little faster when she saw the hurt look in his eyes.
“Of course, I do,” said Jake as he picked her up, “I think I understand more of your pain than anyone else does.”
Ana kept her mouth shut after that. He gathered her up in his arms and headed back to the house.
“Why? I’m trash, I deserve this punishment. I don’t want anyones help, I already proved how worthless I am,” Ana, said as tears came back.
“Stop it. Ana, your not trash, okay look you don’t want help that’s fine I’m just doing though what a man should do. Can you at least allow that?” He looked at her.
“Why are you saying such things?” Ana said, tears escaping like never before, “I don’t deserve this type of kindness I’m dark and cold-blooded. You should hate me!”
“How can I hate you when I don’t know you?”
“YOU JUST SHOULD!”
Jake stopped walking and looked at Ana.
“Than you should hate me as well,” he said looking at her, “I may not seem it right now but I like the dark and love cold and scary things. I MAY KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU THEN YOU REALIZE!!!!”
Ana stared at him his cheeks were flushed and his eyes had tears beginning in them. He was shaking as well. She turned away.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
Jake sighed before going on back to her place.

Needing to remember the attackes here on American soil.

9/11 and Pearl Harbor where the two biggest attacks we had here on American soil. But 9/11 was the most frightening attack of all because it was an attack on the civilians who just lived their everyday normal lives. When I first heard about it was when me and my friends got to school. I was having a really good day. Just walked into school smiling that was when I looked to the TV in my school and saw it the first plane hitting the south tower of the World Trade Center. At first I wasn't sure if it was a movie or not but when the people started running and screaming and the camera person pointed out the second plane before it hit the north tower it all became clear this was real. My heart stopped in wonder as to if we were going to have a war happen right here on our American soil, luckily we didn't. But the school tried to keep us focused but even the teachers couldn't think straight we were just wondering and waiting. A war did happen but not the soil here in America, but I knew that it was going to happen, I saluted those soldiers who were my friends as they left for war. I always smiled at the police, firemen, and paramedics just to let them know that I was grateful that they were willing to protect us from an attack by others here in the country to those on the other side of the world. I won't deny it I'm a proud American, I am grateful to my grandpa's who were willing to serve in the wars of the past, I applaud all veterans, and I pray for the safety of the soldiers who now go to war. May we remember that we are not a nation that hides or ignores a direct attack, we are not a nation who begs for others help but helps itself. If you are offended by this I must ask why? Because being proud of the country that is free and where I have a choice is better then any where else. That is all I can say thanks for reading this.

How dare I think anything and how dare I even think a normal thing.

Okay, rant time ON.

I really hate the fact that some people think that I am a very perverted person for thinking about the unthinkable that really everybody does now-a-days 24/7. If you don't know it deals with the birds and the bees. What's even more annoying is how there is this one guy who I'm interested in and he already has put up this whole thing that he isn't good enough for me! ARGH!!! Could you men stop judging yourselves around me about yourselves or me!? PLEASE!!??

Okay, rant time OFF.

Sorry about that but these last few days are just following up with my worst week ever, to be honest on some level that week was better then the week that I was in a hospital after the car crash I went through. Wait, car crash? Yep, car crash, it has been a total of 12 years since that time I was only ten when it happened. But aside from that it is starting to feel like it was a "much better" time then this! Maybe just because I had friends who, I don't know, ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT ME! I even had my child-hood best friend trying to get in contact with me and I had a HUGE crush on him. But he later on became a jerk and a player. I growing up was only consider by guys for two things first I would be a nice person to get to "know" (again birds and bees) OR I was just the type of girl who was the one you dated just to make people think that you are so effing kind and caring when really you aren't. So yeah, I just have liked this guy and I felt that something was going to progress for a moment than he kills it saying in his terms that "he isn't good enough and that I'll find somebody better." >:( Uh, insecure much? I mean really who said that you men could judge yourselves that quickly why not let us women say if you're good enough for us or not! Oh, and my boyfriend; who I broke up with, well because of that saying the other guy gave, I began to think "maybe I should've taken him up on his birds and the bees offer just so that maybe I would still have him."
But that thought lasted for a total of ten seconds and died. Why?? Because I am Daddy's little girl. My father passed away in that car crash and before he died he had asked me to wait until I was married before I'd learn first hand about the birdies and the beeses.
Anyways, the other problem, everyone (or at least it feels like it) thinks that I'm such a dirty minded person just because I occasionally think that talking about the birds and the bees is okay and that it isn't that bad. I don't talk about it around young kids I'm not stupid but around my friends (19 or older) I do. And there are a few who talk back to me about it. But what has become so wrong about that topic? Whatever, I'm just too rough a girl who likes to get under men's skin and tease them to no end, I guess it will be a while tell I find a guy who can handle me and maybe even get me to, I don't know, fall heads-over-heels in love with him. I'll keep you posted. Until then I am sticking with my book characters because they actually effing care about those whom they love. Thanks for reading this really long rant. I'm through here is a short story enjoy.

When I first wrote about Pantheion I was surprised because he wasn't a normal character I wrote about he had a lot of burning passion and was an intense warrior. But the character that surprised me the most was his love interest, I cried but not as much as this girl did but I (and I'm not ashamed to admit) was envious of this gentle man wiping her tears away and holding her close as she cried. I realized that Pantheion held one quality I wanted from a guy in my future.

Pantheion:
The Outer World War

Pantheion walked down the hall shadowed by the darkness. Outside cheers were erupting through out the grounds. Pantheion ignored the people and their jubilation. The threat was not gone and would not be for a long time to come. He absentmindedly took his hand and played with the single long strand of silver hair. He passed by a window were it soon was erupted with light from the fireworks. He was a startling handsome young man. His chin came into a more soft curve rather than a jutted square. His eyes were a blistering electric blue which seemed to crackle with white. All though his appearance was handsome and many women wanting him, he still refused he just wanted one who was a dear friend of his. He walked into his compartment.
He stopped when he saw someone sitting on the edge of his bed. A young woman who was normal as far as humans went she had long brown hair with blue eyes. Her skin was a beautiful shade of milky white. She turned to Pantheion and than bounded at him she grasped him tight in a hug as she shook and muffled sobs came from her buried face in his chest.
“Marin,” said Pantheion as he pulled her away to look at her eyes, “What happened?”
Marin hurriedly wiped her eyes as she tried hard to calm her breathing. She was still shaking and her knees buckled. Pantheion caught her and picked her up. He placed her on his bed. He got up and rushed into the bathroom he came back with a bowl of water and cloth and a cup.
“I’m so sorry,” said Marin as she hurriedly cleaned her face and eyes embarrassed, “But I just thought…”
Pantheion handed her the cup Marin drank down the blue drink and promptly burst into tears again. Pantheion held her close to him. She sobbed for a while until she finally got a hold of herself.
“I thought,” said Marin as Pantheion climbed in on the other side and wrapped his arms around her, “that you were killed. I don’t like it when you’re called off to fight. I sit here alone wondering whether your alright or not.”
Pantheion lifted Marins head and kissed her soundly. He had never tried this before but the urge just was strong to do it. Marin softly moaned as she allowed him to kiss her. Pantheion pulled away he felt his lips tingling from hers. He ran his hand through her hair and looked into her eyes.
“I don’t want you to fear for me,” began Pantheion as he continued to run his hand through her hair, “but the war is not over and until it is-” But he was stopped by someone kissing him back.
“I know,” said Marin as she broke the kiss, “I hope it ends soon.”
Pantheion took Marin in his arms and held her.
“So who do think really did this then?” asked Marin as she turned her head up to Patheions.
“I don’t know,” said Pantheion as he pulled his hair back, “But I know that mutant alien was not the last one. And where it came from is unknown even to the best of our scientists.”
Marin laid back against Pantheions chest as he continued to contemplate. The mystery was what or who was controlling the aliens. Suddenly the door burst open and Pantheion jumped. His companion stood at the door panting.
“How can you lay there with your girl when the enemy has revealed herself,” shouted his best friend Bane.
“Herself?” asked Pantheion as he got out of the bed.
“Yes, it is a Crystalloid,” said Bane as he led Pantheion out of the room.
They began to run with Marin close behind them. Pantheion looked out the windows that passed by and saw a woman in crystal armor staring down at the people who were running around frantically.
“Pantheion come on,” shouted his friend Bane but Pantheion was stuck staring at her. She had him caught with a thin piece of crystal string. It shimmered and Bane and Marin realized why he had stopped, they rushed to help him but he was tugged out of the window. Pantheion closed his eyes as he rushed down to his death. But instead he felt a sharp tug and blood pouring out over the wire that cut through him.
“Ah, the strongest soldier I have caught him,” said the woman who had him dangle. The wire was slowly cutting further through him, “Well, what shall I do with you?”
“Let him go,” shouted the king as he looked up at the woman, “You are wrong Pantheion is not the strongest soldier!”
“He’s not,” said the Crystalloid, she tugged the string with Pantheion on it all the way up to her. She pulled him up to her face and stared deep into his eyes, “No, he is the one who destroyed my alien.”
“Please, let him go,” said the king as he stepped forward.
“And what of this man do you plead so much for?” asked the Crystalloid.
“He is, my son!” shouted the King as he stared up at Pantheion.
“YOUR SON!” shrieked the Crystalloid in surprise.
“Yes, let him go,” said the King.
“Dad,” whispered Pantheion as he looked around at the people who were there many in shock. His identity as the Prince of this land was to be kept secret only his two friends and pretend parents knew who he really was.
“Oh, no,” said the crystalloid sneering at the king as she hoisted Pantheion over her shoulder, “I’m going to keep this great find all to my self. Do anything and trust me your beloved prince here will meet his death slowly and painfully.”
“NO!’ shouted his father. Soldiers readied their bows with arrows, but held from firing they seem afraid that they would hit him if they aimed a bit off. Pantheion was a human shield for this crystalloid.
She took off with Pantheion staring down at Marin who was screaming as well. He didn’t know what would happen now if he was a prisoner for this enemy. And he knew about the old traditions of torture.

Can you stop stepping on me?

:( Well I got a boyfriend not long after broke up with him then I lost my job. But all though there was all this going on.
:) I got to hang out with a really great guy and also have a trial day this Saturday for a nanny job.
Looking at the good it is sometimes very hard to do especially when you are like some of my books characters. Another book I've been working on is called Warrior's. My main character Marylyn watches her friends be killed, wakes up while she is being operated on, and becomes something that is much more freighting and should only be left in fairy tales. Marylyn was one character that I found hard to like, she was very intense and very bold. The way her mind worked didn't follow with the other characters I was used to. Such as Darlene from another story, don't you love how many stories I have? :)
Life is tough and many times it feels better to just kill yourself and make life easier for yourself. All though I know that things are bad I also know that I can change how it is. Keep on trying life has to get better all the time no matter what. Now may I introduce you to Marylyn.

“GIVE IT BACK!” Angela shouted chasing after Jared as he held her necklace high laughing as they ran down the school hallway.
“RUN, RUN, AS FAST AS YOU CAN, YOU CAN’T CATCH ME, I’M JARED, MAN!” Shouted Jared before he was plowed hard onto the floor with Angela sitting on top of him holding her necklace in the air.
“You were saying?” Angela asked looking at the back of Jared’s head.
The classroom door swung open as Jared and Angela entered. Their friends looked up and laughed when they saw the red rub mark on Jared’s chin, cheeks, nose, and forehead.
“Another bought you two?” Luke asked kicking his feet up on the table. Flicking his red hair back, from his brown eyes.
“Oh, cut it out Luke,” said Angela resting into her pink beanbag. Her blonde tipped pink hair fell around her face, her green eyes piercing Jared, “He stole my grandmothers necklace.”
“Like I said I was just going to sell it on e-bay and see how much it’d go for!” Jared complained before he slouched into a wooden chair. He looked at the chess board in front of him where a girl who had dyed her hair silver stared at her black pieces. Jared moved his left knight to the right.
“Either way you’re both noisy,” said Crystal before she moved a pawn two spaces. She sighed looking at Jared flip his brown hair around only jabbing it in his grey eyes and crying.
“You know it seems like we can never have silence,” said Marylyn, flipping through her manga.
“Well, I guess that’s why I joined,” said Mark who flipped through an Edgar Allen Poe book. He looked at Marylyn admiring her brown hair, and quiet blue speckled green eyes.
“Yeah right Mark you joined because of Marylyn,” teased Katie who held a DS in her hands. She smirked at Mark who stared at her with his dark brown eyes, his black striped red hair.
“I don’t know Katie,” said George who held a Wii controller, “I think most of us guys joined to get closer to girls.” He finished tucking a hand under Katies chin, only to get slapped in return. He just smirked at her black hair and purple contacted eyes. As she glared at his bronze hair and amber eyes.
“Maybe for you Geo, but I choose this class to have some fun!” Jared shouted punching his fists into the air.
“Checkmate,” said Crystal before standing and moving to a laz-e-boy. Leaving a dumbstruck Jared, staring at her bishop who won her checkmate.
“Yeah, but in some ways it just seems we only made this class to have fun not do what we planned it for,” said Marylyn staring out the window.
“Even, so it’s rough trying to get our names out there,” said Mark, “I mean look most of these famous authors weren’t even recognized until they were dead.” He slid the book across the table sighing.
“Hey,” said Marylyn looking at Mark, “even so we said we would take what ever would be given us. Something, anything so we could be noticed.”
“Yeah, so enough sad talk lets think up some ways to have some fun!” said Angela punching the air.
“We could try out my new Wii game,” suggested George.
“Geo you’re the only one who wins and you win because you know some sick moves for those games.” Jared looked at George.
“You’re bad at any game.” Crystal retorted. Jared glared at Crystal as she thumbed through the Edgar Allen Poe book.
“Well, we should probably leave,” said Marylyn standing up, “I see no point in us staying. I could do some le parkour then.”
“Le Parkour..? What’s that?” George asked as he stashed the controls and his Wii back into their carrier.
“It’s just running and finding ways to save yourself in dangerous situations,” explained Marylyn.
“Yeah, as if anything bad will happen to us,” said Jared as they opened the front doors.
Outside they could hear the sound of police sirens and could see the flashing lights, in front was a large black van that crashed into their high school sign. They froze as the people ran out of the van they were charging right at them.
“MOVE!” Mark yelled as he pulled Marylyn out of the way. The others did also, but it happened so quickly the police aimed and fired. The sound of guns echoed as they fell to the floor. Marylyn felt her eyes fill with tears as she saw Mark and her friends collapse to the ground bullet wounds seeping with the dark color of blood. She fell hard to the ground as well as she felt the warmth of her blood seep around her wound. Mark, his eyes open; dead he was already gone and she would join them all again soon. But the eternal darkness never came but her whole body was paralyzed. She was alive but dead.
“Did they get them all?” Rasped a voice like one through a gas mask.
“Yeah,” answered another in a gas mask, “But looks like one’s still alive.”
“Is she paralyzed at least?”
“Yeah, they hit the spine,” the other said as he put pressure on her wound. Marylyn screamed but her mouth didn’t open and her voice didn’t echo anything out, she was paralyzed.
“Take the girls, I’ll handle the guys,” said the first. He lifted up Mark, Marylyn cried seeing his dead eyes staring at her in horror. They were all dead and would be that way forever. Her vision flipped around to the ground as she was moved to somewhere. She was laid down in the back of a vehicle. The rest of her friends past by her all staring at her with dead eyes, seeming as if they blamed her. Marylyn felt her heart crush her inside. She felt as if her heart crushing itself would be the thing to kill her now. The doors slammed as the vehicle rattled down the road to some weird place.
Marylyn was staring right at Mark. His mouth was slightly open as he stared at her with dead eyes. Marylyn put as much effort as she could to stretch her left arm to reach his cheek. She strained for a couple of fingers to brush his cheek. She cried in sorrow and pain. It hurt so badly physically and emotionally to see him there dead. Too far for him to feel her touch.
Marylyn cried away as the vehicle continued its trek to wherever it was going. All she knew was that wherever it was she was going to be miserable forever. How could she be happy when her friends where dead. The tires screeched and voices where outside the vehicle. The doors flew open and men in white lab coats gathered her dead friends. Marylyn was screaming though she knew no one could hear her at all.
“So this is the main survivor?”
Marylyn was staring in the eyes of a young man. He looked twenty and seemed to be smirking at her, he didn’t seem to be, he was. One of the gas masked men pointed to her bullet wound. The man slammed his hand to her wound. Marylyn felt her eyes flutter shut from the sudden rush of pain.

“The skin has been removed.”
“Doctor the heart has been filled with the ectoplasm substance you created it is beating normally.”
“The brain has been modified to start working at thirty-five percent capacity her bat wings have been accepted as well as her fangs and talons.”
Marylyn couldn’t move though she could hear she couldn’t move then pain shot through her. She bolted up screaming in pain. She heard the panic cries as she struggled. A mask was slipped over her mouth and nose as a gas filled her mouth she fell back into the darkness she had just barely awoken from.

“Marylyn?”
Marylyn opened her eyes to see Mark looking at her in worry. She smiled softly at him, so glad it was all just a bad dream. Mark was alive he wasn’t dead but alive.
“Oh, Mark,” said Marylyn as she grasped his hand, “I had a really horrible dream, that you were all dead and I was paralyzed. Then I dreamed that they did something weird to me. I can’t believe it was just a dream.”
Mark looked over her. Marylyn turned and saw all their other friends there but they all had an expression of deep concern on their faces.
“What?” Marylyn said sitting up.
“Marylyn,” said Mark, “Something like that did happen, we aren’t in school anymore.”
Marylyn looked at him still smiling, before her eyes twisted in horror making her smile look maniacal.
“You got me,” laughed Marylyn, “I can not believe you would believe what I said to be true! Hah, I was just dreaming! I WAS JUST DREAMING!”
Marylyn looked at the room they were in and realized that it wasn’t any place she knew. A large glass circle door was all she could see to try and figure out where they were. Marylyn stood and ran to the glass door. She pounded on it screaming and howling. Mark tried to pull her away but she wrenched free pounding some more before a pair of glowing red eyes stared at her. Marylyn screamed pushing herself into Marks arms surprised that this was not a place she had ever been before. Marylyn turned her head into Marks chest. Then her throat constricted and she couldn’t breathe.
“Marylyn?” Mark asked watching as she slid down onto her knees before she started coughing, “Marylyn, what, what’s wrong?”
Marylyn grabbed his arms before she turned away coughing again. She couldn’t stop coughing as the others began to panic. Mark took and picked up Marylyn holding her head back so her throat would open but it did nothing. The others screamed for help. Mark panicked, please don’t let her die!
The glass door opened and Mark was shoved away from Marylyn as men in hazard suits grabbed Marylyn and forced her mouth open. Marylyn struggled but they forced her to drink a red liquid. The smell though told the others it was blood she was being forced to drink. They watched as the blood was drained and they dropped Marylyn to the ground. Marylyn gasped as a trickle of blood left her mouth. She picked her hands up off the ground staring at them before she began to shake and cry. She curled up into a ball on the floor. Mark rushed to her but screamed in pain as electricity shot through out his whole body causing him to collapse to the ground.
“MARK!” Marylyn screamed.
“Oh, he won’t die.”
Marylyn looked up to the twenty year old man she had met here. He was smiling still.
“Well, well, I knew you were a strong one,” he said bending down to Marylyn and cupping his hand under her chin, “Everything I could hope for and more.”
His eyes flicked over to Mark before settling on Marylyn with a look of evil. He jerked Marylyn’s left arm to his mouth and pulled the sleeve down to reveal a wrist band.
“I’ll tell you now not to do anything wrong else this will trigger a shock so powerful that not even the Earth would recover from it. Just so you know what I mean,” he said before he twisted Marylyn’s band.
The electricity was intense. Marylyn felt her body shake and she fell to the ground grinding her teeth since she couldn’t move anything else. It was a weird feeling more like her body was vibrating. The pain was searing though but the electricity wouldn’t kill her. She couldn’t hear the others because a rushing sound was pouring into her ears. But Mark was struggling to keep his cool. But to her surprise he knelt down and begged the man. All the sudden the vibration ended and her tightened body loosened up and her limbs felt like jelly.
“Understand, you are now monsters here’s a book for you to enjoy.”
A book fell in front of Marylyn’s vision followed by the sound of receding footsteps. No one moved too afraid to be electrocuted next. Marylyn couldn’t feel her body anymore she was shivering, the pain was too shocking but the biggest shock was the fact she didn’t die from that surge. She felt herself be picked up but she allowed her body to flop against Marks chest.
“Marylyn, forgive me,” he whispered holding her head close to his. Her hair played from his breath against her. She began to cry thinking of the intense suffering she had gone through how none of them where there with her nor could they help her. She shoved Mark away tears flooding down.